Updated: Nov 30, 2019
How to Write Your Wedding Vows
The words you will say on your wedding day are among the most meaningful you will ever say to each other, so they should be absolutely right for you, and what could be more personal and heartfelt than writing your own vows?
Of course, there are many people who can think of nothing worse than trying to put their deepest thoughts and feelings into words, and much prefer me to write something appropriate - and that’s completely ok, too!
However, if you really like the idea of writing your own promises and vows, but haven’t got a clue where to start, then this is for you …!
A few key things to keep in mind as you go along:
Talk to your partner: Most couples keep the actual wording a secret until the ceremony, but it’s a good idea to talk to each other about the overall style and tone: will the vows be light-hearted, romantic or a mixture; will you use the same format; are you going to use a common theme (favourite quotes etc.).
Quality, not quantity: Remember that these are vows, not a speech, so don’t worry if they’re fairly short.
Don’t worry about what other people think: Your vows are between the two of you, so don’t worry that others may think they are corny. If your words are heartfelt and meant sincerely, they are never corny!
Be true to yourself: Make sure that you write in your own words and phrase things in the way you would usually say them - don’t feel that you have to use formal expressions: that’s why you’re writing your own vows, after all!
Don’t be afraid to include some laughs: Vows don’t have to be completely serious; including some light-hearted promises helps to reflect the real you.
Avoid words like ‘always’ and ‘never’: Everyone understands that married life is not all plain sailing, so don’t promise perfection.
Say ‘I love you’: Seems obvious, right? But don’t be afraid to say it.
If you’re stuck, then it sometimes helps to have a structure in mind to help you get going. This is one that I often suggest to my couples, and it usually does the trick!
Start by saying who your partner is to you, eg: your best friend, your partner in crime, your world.
Say what it is you really love about him/her, eg: how romantic he/she is; his/her ginger hair, his/her kind heartedness; the way he/she can always make you laugh etc.
If you want to, you could add a little anecdote about how romantic/kind/funny/thoughtful he/she is, and don’t worry about whether it’s a serious story or a funny one, the important thing is that it is true to your relationship.
Then make a couple of promises, which can be fairly broad (eg: I promise to support and encourage you), and/or more specific (eg: "I promise to try to enjoy Game of Thrones more", or quite a few couples say something like "I promise not to watch the next episode of .... without you”).
Talk about what your married life will be like, eg: "together, we will ...."
The simplest, and most heartfelt, way to end is simply to say "I love you" or something similar, eg: "I love you today, and will love you every day.”
Of course, you don’t have to stick rigidly to any template - just use it as a jumping-off point, and you’ll be amazed at how soon you’ll be full of ideas!
Examples of Real Wedding Vows to Inspire You
“Today, I’m one of the lucky ones, as I get to marry my best friend. I promise to love you, laugh with you and cry with you. I can’t promise not to get angry with you for always being late, but I do promise to forgive you afterwards!”
“I promise to try every day to make you happy - even to watch football sometimes, and try to be interested.”
“I thank you for letting me warm my feet on your legs, cuddling me when I’m cold, and always making me feel loved. As we grow old and wrinkly together, I promise to continue to love you - as long as you continue to protect me from the spiders!”
“I promise to love you in good times and in bad, when life seems easy and when it seems hard; when our love is simple, and when it is an effort. I promise to cherish you, and to respect you. These promises I make to you today, and all the days of my life.”
“I can’t stop loving you, any more than I could stop breathing. I am hopelessly, irretrievably, in love with you - more than you know - and can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”
“I promise to love and support you, through the bad times and the good. I promise that I will tell you ‘no’ when you say you want to quit the job that you secretly love. I promise not to moan every time you want to watch Harry Potter. Together, we can only grow stronger, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life making you pancakes on a Sunday morning, and going for long walks in the evenings.“
“You are my best friend. Here in front of everyone we love, I give you everything I am - my dreams and my fears, my triumphs and my failures. I promise to love and cherish you as much as I do our cats. From this day forward, I will lint roll you whenever we leave the house, and cuddle with you as much as I do with the cats. I promise to laugh with you, cry with you, and grow with you. I will love you when we are together and when we are apart. I promise to support your dreams and to respect our differences, and to love you and be by your side through all the days and nights of our lives.”
“I believe in you, the person you will grow to be, and the couple we will be together. I will dream with you, celebrate with you and walk beside you through whatever life may bring. And I promise, that no matter how silly or serious, stressful or challenging the situation may be, I will support you and love you unconditionally for the rest of my life.”